I’m Crazy and Unphotogenic


So lately I’ve been in a weird place.  I’m volunteering my time in excess of what some people give to their full time job.  I gave up a leadership role for another of my kids’ activities because I was going crazy with all the demands.  No one is happy once mom rounds the bend into insanity!

The descent is particularly dramatic around here, as we all feed off of each other’s energy.  So, crazy mom means the kids are regularly hysterical, the cats get needy, Jeff ends up carrying the whole household… Oh, right.  He already does carry the whole fricking household.  Dishes, laundry, cat vomit.  He does it all.

Just like that.

More time for the rest of us to be batshitcrazy.  By “us”, I mean “Kim”.  It is what it is.

I kind of enjoy that Sarah Palin was the first several hits for “batshitcrazy” on google images.

Enough about him and that, let’s talk about me some more.  I’ve been hyper-focused on helping my homeschool co-op find a new space for the fall.  It has taken over my home life, though some of that is due to my complete lack of organizational skills.  Some of it is due to a perfectionism streak I try to tell myself I don’t have.  Some of the occupation is because I am wildly in love with this group and my children both say they can’t live without it.

I’ll do whatever it takes to help make this happen and insure it’s there for my kids.  Well, other people’s kids too.  Co-op is no fun without friends.  I should amend that to read, “I will stop short at prostituting myself on Craigslist.”  Everything else is probably okay, or mostly okay.

Nah. Just kidding. Sounds like way too much work.

Now that co-op is straightening itself out though, another group I’m in LURVE with, Chicago Gifted Community Center, is picking up speed again for me. We’re a new non-profit just about to open the doors for membership.  I’m on the board.  I needed to submit a Bio for the website.  I suck and am a big loser.  Well, not really, but this is my blog post and I can say whatever I want.

Seriously though, I feel a little intimidated by the women I’m working with.  They are all amazing, accomplished, passionate women.  They’ve done incredible things with their lives, while also raising their high needs, fabulous kids.

Then there’s me.  I skipped a shower this morning, Jeff brought home take-out for dinner, my butt made a permanent crater on the couch today, and I didn’t graduate from college.

I was close, but I got married and moved to California instead.  I went back to school for photography a few years ago (OMG, 10), but then I dropped out again and had a baby.  I’m a cliche!

A cliche that also cannot multitask.  Lots of people finish their degrees while raising families, yo.  Some people drop out of school and launch billion dollar corporations from  cheap rental apartments.

ZUCKERBERG!!!!!

I mostly got over myself earlier tonight, sent my bio, and found a Photobooth pic that E and I took several months ago.  I cropped E out and realized I look possessed in my remaining half of the picture.

The pic is small, so you can’t see my RED GLOWING EYES!!!

Possessed is as good as it gets, since I look like a moose in all the other pictures.  All four of them.  Apparently I’m in Witness Protection and cannot have people taking my picture.  My friend made a Face-in-Hole of me as the Queen of England, and it’s actually one of the few photos of me in existence!

This is one of the few pictures of me in existence.

So, I’m wallowing in self pity here.  I have B.O., but no degree.  I don’t have a building, bench, or calendar day named after me.  I’m disorganized and overscheduled.  I don’t have any good pictures.  Sigh.  I didn’t launch a billion dollar corporation when I dropped out of school.

Maybe I should cut myself some slack.  These kids I have are a lot of work.  They are always going, going, going…nonstop.  Juggling their extensive, discordant needs is exhausting, and I do a pretty good job.  I’m not saying great, but pretty good is not bad.

My kids are relatively happy.  As long as the older one isn’t in the sun, heat, cold, darkness…and as long as it’s not too noisy or chaotic, either, for him, he’s happy.  Oh, and as long as he has access to electronics, books, magazines and, shit, I don’t know.  It’s a long list.  He’s happy when his needs are met.  He has a lot of needs.

N’s most finely developed / over-worked organs.

The younger is happy when all of the opposite is true.  He likes to be outside, in the noise, creating the chaos, embracing the bedlam.  He does enjoy the electronics, too, but frequently loses his stuff and then pretends he doesn’t care.  I admire that.

The spirit of E. This is what I think he looks like on the inside.

What was the point here?  Did I have a point?  I’m not sure.  Maybe my bio is the point? And my happy go-lucky attitude?  LOL

Here’s my bio:  Kim Beeler has some kids.  She’s crazy, volunteers a lot, has B.O., and no college degree.  She didn’t make a billion dollars when she dropped out of school.

This post is a disaster.  I don’t care.  I’m posting it anyway.

Next time will be brilliant.  🙂

Well, maybe.

7 Comments

  1. Deb Porter said,

    May 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    That was delicious. Thank you! It was brilliant, because it was real.

  2. nancy carpenter said,

    May 21, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    OMG, you made me choke on my lunch. I will never eat and read your blog at the same time again.

    • May 23, 2012 at 1:28 am

      Thank you! I love when I can cause a near death experience in friends.

      I love my bracelets, btw. I wear them all the time, except the black and white. For some reason I just like to look at that one. So pretty!

  3. Christine said,

    May 21, 2012 at 6:38 pm

    I like authentic and that’s where we all need to start and be. Don’t compare to other people; they probably feel the same way about you. Just do the best you can each day. 🙂

    • May 23, 2012 at 1:33 am

      I try to be authentic, maybe sometimes *too* authentic in a TMI way. I know my impressions are a little skewed, but I still get stuck.

      I like the thought of doing the best we can each day, and especially the idea that we can always start over the next day.

  4. Jen C. said,

    May 23, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Awesome! Love, love love. This is my life, you’re talking about here!


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