Amazon.com Should Know I’m a Low Rent Ho


I just bought a new wall calendar that is perfect for my family.  We have so much scheduled, and everyone has their own stuff to remember, but none of us can apparently do it without losing parts of our souls.  It’s grisly.

I finally thought I’d just slap an ugly calendar on the wall and see what happens. The three different Franklin Planners, spiral bound calendars, generic planners, electronic organizers, homeschool-specific systems,  the computer…none of them work for our family.

I’ve tried them all.

Not this one. I haven’t tried the ear plug calendar yet, though all it will tell me is the last day I remembered to move the plugs.

Well, more like I buy them all and then don’t get around to implementation.

Because we’re so busy.  And I’m disorganized.

So, we have post-its, random notebooks full of jotted down info, receipts with important scratches on their backs, lists about the list of lists.  Pages of notes about the lists.  Piles and piles of papers, some of which might be important.  This has been a successful system so far, but I’m sort of stressed out.

There are people in the piles.

Don’t judge; it’s not nice.

But alas!!  Amazon, my love, showed me a sweet $5 solution.  It was so seductively presented, with a picture, description, product number, and everything…  Amazon overplayed its hand and should be familiar with my slutty shopping ways by now.  All they really needed was to post a plain old sans serif “Hey, we’re selling shit” and I would buy.  I would also buy some of that delicious ambrosia as gifts for my friends, no less.  I’m easy like that.

Amazon sends me covert messages that indicate it prefers a classier sort of clientele. I’m not buying THAT!

I pointed at my cart and told that calendar to get in.

“Get in there now!” I told it.

I bought that calendar but good.

Get in the cart NOW!                    “Whip Dragon” by Richard Mark Huffman

It arrived on my doorstep with free super saver two day shipping, and I was all twitchy with excitement.  I couldn’t wait to get all of our activities, classes, appointments, whatevers, recorded.  Organized.

WTF?  My calendar, my precious, expired in June? But I bought it in August!

 

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1 of AT-A-GLANCE Recycled Monthly Wall Calendar, 12-Inch x 17-Inch, White-Cream, 2011/2012 (PMA2-28)
Sold by: Amazon.com LLC
Reason for return: No longer needed/wanted
Details: Not sure how I missed it, but this calendar expired two months ago. I have no need for a 2011- June 2012 calendar! Why are you even still selling it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amazon doesn’t even want me to return it.  They told me to keep their trash and are giving me my money back with no questions.

Amazon sold me their recycling!

Good thing I just bought a new planner at Target.  I think it’s going to be just the thing to help me get the family organized.

I paid full price, ‘cuz that’s what I do at Target.  My new planner was just sitting there on the end cap.  Asking for it.

11 Comments

  1. jeffreylbeeler said,

    August 14, 2012 at 1:08 am

    I have some 3.5″ diskettes and 5.25″ floppy disks for sale.

    • August 14, 2012 at 11:17 am

      Yay! I saw some great craft projects on Pinterest those disks would be perfect for.

      Can you take them to work with you and send them to me at home so I can have more boxes to throw near the garage door? Are we talking money yet, or are we gonna barter?

  2. August 14, 2012 at 6:50 am

    ROTFL!! I needed a laugh to get my morning started and Delcious Minutiae was there to deliver.

  3. janedeau said,

    August 14, 2012 at 7:05 am

    LOL!

  4. Lorel said,

    August 14, 2012 at 11:26 am

    I bought a Target planner recently, but also need to get my Boynton Mom’s calendar from amazon.
    I buy the Boynton every year, and I love it because it has five columns on each page so that I can note which family member has stuff happening each day. It used to be a problem that we have six family members, so DH had to go without a column for a few years, and then his name was added and young adult DS had his name removed. So now we’re good, except for the fact that the calendar covers 17 months so I am always feeling bad about “wasting” several months of calendar as they overlap.

    • August 14, 2012 at 11:31 am

      I’ve gotten the Sandra Boynton a couple of times, though the first one was more than halfway through the year and only cost $1. I wanted to see if I liked it, and then I lost it in my office. I bought the next year’s and recently recycled it, but only after removing it from the plastic wrap. Blush.

      I’ll look at it again… My planner goes with me, but I need something for the family at home.

  5. murmaids113 said,

    August 14, 2012 at 11:45 am

    We’re all searching for that perfect organizer, aren’t we?! I promise the ‘calendar that wasn’t’ was not going to be the solution anyhow….I speak from experience 🙂

    • August 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

      I don’t know… It might have been the best ever! I think you’re right though, Jody. LMK if you find the perfect solution.

  6. calially2 said,

    August 15, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    go high tech baby!


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