Amazon.com Should Know I’m a Low Rent Ho


I just bought a new wall calendar that is perfect for my family.  We have so much scheduled, and everyone has their own stuff to remember, but none of us can apparently do it without losing parts of our souls.  It’s grisly.

I finally thought I’d just slap an ugly calendar on the wall and see what happens. The three different Franklin Planners, spiral bound calendars, generic planners, electronic organizers, homeschool-specific systems,  the computer…none of them work for our family.

I’ve tried them all.

Not this one. I haven’t tried the ear plug calendar yet, though all it will tell me is the last day I remembered to move the plugs.

Well, more like I buy them all and then don’t get around to implementation.

Because we’re so busy.  And I’m disorganized.

So, we have post-its, random notebooks full of jotted down info, receipts with important scratches on their backs, lists about the list of lists.  Pages of notes about the lists.  Piles and piles of papers, some of which might be important.  This has been a successful system so far, but I’m sort of stressed out.

There are people in the piles.

Don’t judge; it’s not nice.

But alas!!  Amazon, my love, showed me a sweet $5 solution.  It was so seductively presented, with a picture, description, product number, and everything…  Amazon overplayed its hand and should be familiar with my slutty shopping ways by now.  All they really needed was to post a plain old sans serif “Hey, we’re selling shit” and I would buy.  I would also buy some of that delicious ambrosia as gifts for my friends, no less.  I’m easy like that.

Amazon sends me covert messages that indicate it prefers a classier sort of clientele. I’m not buying THAT!

I pointed at my cart and told that calendar to get in.

“Get in there now!” I told it.

I bought that calendar but good.

Get in the cart NOW!                    “Whip Dragon” by Richard Mark Huffman

It arrived on my doorstep with free super saver two day shipping, and I was all twitchy with excitement.  I couldn’t wait to get all of our activities, classes, appointments, whatevers, recorded.  Organized.

WTF?  My calendar, my precious, expired in June? But I bought it in August!

 

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1 of AT-A-GLANCE Recycled Monthly Wall Calendar, 12-Inch x 17-Inch, White-Cream, 2011/2012 (PMA2-28)
Sold by: Amazon.com LLC
Reason for return: No longer needed/wanted
Details: Not sure how I missed it, but this calendar expired two months ago. I have no need for a 2011- June 2012 calendar! Why are you even still selling it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amazon doesn’t even want me to return it.  They told me to keep their trash and are giving me my money back with no questions.

Amazon sold me their recycling!

Good thing I just bought a new planner at Target.  I think it’s going to be just the thing to help me get the family organized.

I paid full price, ‘cuz that’s what I do at Target.  My new planner was just sitting there on the end cap.  Asking for it.

Math for Families with Short Attention Spans


E says he doesn’t ever want to go to school.  In his opinion, this means he will not have to learn anything, ever.  He is absolutely addicted to math videos from the library.  Every time we go, he must check the shelves for new math videos.  He’s four, so that’s cool.  Maybe when he’s five I’ll let him know how much he’s learning…or maybe I’ll wait until he’s six and has moved on to Teaching Company stuff. Read the rest of this entry »

Wirelessless


I had the uncomfortable misfortune to be without wireless connectivity this week for a couple of days.  It was awful.  I feel the need to blog about it in great detail so no one is left with the mistaken impression that it was like “a breath of fresh air” or that we are better people because of it.  I found myself itchy and tense, more so than my usual psoriasis and chronic stress would account for. Read the rest of this entry »