“Simon Says: Pick Your Butt With Your Finger.”

The good news is that N feels better after a weekend bout with either food poisoning or a food allergy.

The bad news is that N feels better after a weekend bout with either food poisoning or a food allergy.

A little while ago E wanted to play Simon Says.  I really love the way these two kids are so close.  I definitely think it’s a beneficial side effect of homeschooling that they really are the best of friends…

Oreo...Milk's best friend. See how much fun they're having together?

While at the same time, as brothers should be, mortal enemies.

"It is also true that when matter and antimatter meet, they annihilate."

Through the earlier years, there were times when it looked like N was going down the path of “You’re young, and I’m older, therefore I will be a bossy, crabby, bully of a big brother.”  It really tried to bloom when N was 6 and 7…when E was 3 and 4.

I stuck with the party line of “He’s little now but will possibly be bigger than you one day.  Friends will come and go, but he’ll be in your life forever…  Plus, he may be the only person on the planet willing to help you with your mortgage one day, so don’t piss him off.”

Little did we know how apt that last part might be.  E is a tycoon.

So, they scheme, plot and plan in some devious, brilliant ways together.  They understand each other and are great complements to one another.  Together, they could probably take over the world.

"They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God. "

Back to Simon Says and the World Domination Leadership Training Seminar.

E wanted to play and N kind of didn’t.  N agreed, but only if he could be Simon first.

Fine.  Whatever.  E has learned patience, if nothing else, being N’s little brother.  He’s always waiting, it seems.  What’s one more time?

N threw out the first volley.  “Simon says, pick your butt with your finger.”

Nice.  I’m so proud.

E stared him down.  Gunsmoke music played in the distance.

Surprisingly difficult to find a duel image for Gunsmoke, so I submit to you... Epic Duel!

A tumbleweed blew through our family room.

Right through the middle of the room. No joke.

I could see the wheels turning in that split second, and he made his choice.

If he didn’t do it, then N wouldn’t play anymore and E wouldn’t get to be Simon.  If he did do it, he’d have to wash his hands with soap, BUT he’d also get to challenge his brother to jump out a window, climb on the roof, or something equally awesome.

E chose soap.

One second before E won the round, mom called a halt to their weirdly fun game.  Killjoy is my role in their young lives.  I take my job very seriously.

Besides, E seriously needs his nails cut and I don’t want to be the Clean Hands Police after that gross game.

They moved on pretty quickly.  E planned an epic scene in the basement with army men, star wars figures, halloween decorations, the kung zhu battle arena, and the “Super Duper Powerful People”.

I’m listening from the couch and have learned that the game isn’t over until all the dead guys fall into the arena.

Fifteen minutes ago N didn’t even want to play.

“I don’t want to play!  I just want to write my book,” he moaned.

I could see he wanted to use his near-death weekend experience as a reason for not playing, but I told him to just suck it up and go play with E for ten or fifteen minutes.  He is now deep into human beatbox sound effects and imaginitive world-building with E, so it wasn’t too difficult a sell.

N just said: “Mom, we had a great time!  Personally, I have no idea what happened.  E just kept yelling ‘grenade!’ and throwing my people across the room. Can we watch Mythbusters now?”

So much for the book he was so worried about earlier.

E: “I’m daring myself that I can eat this whole bowl of applesauce without saying a word.”

N, flipping through the DVR: “Ooh!  Through the Wormhole!”

E:  “Dang it!  I wanted to watch Mythbusters!”

Me to E:  “You lose.  You spoke.”

And on and on and on.

In the meanwhile, N is spending some quality time with his friend Morgan.

“This is so interesting.”

This post just gives me an opportunity to share one of my favorite internet funnies from the last week, to wrap it all up…

"I gravitate towards gravitas. " Morgan Freeman, IRL quote


  1. D Ayles said,

    October 25, 2011 at 10:16 am

    Killjoy, fun vacuum, mom. All interchangeable.

  2. Annamelle said,

    October 25, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    You are so frickin hilarious. And so are you kids.

    • October 29, 2011 at 12:07 pm

      Thank you! I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say “frickin hilarious” but I’ll keep trying.

      Same goes back at you. 🙂

  3. Kato said,

    October 25, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Why didn’t I ever think to say “pick your butt with your finger”?

    • October 29, 2011 at 12:08 pm

      I don’t know! If anyone would have said it first, I think it’d be you.

      (inserting standard smiley to maintain continuity with other comments… 🙂 )

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